“Crossing to the other side of the river” – what a strange title for a blog post.
I, the one who wrote it, cannot explain it. But I write it, anyway, and I keep it. I trust the Mystery, the potential of Not Knowing, the Void.
As we open 2018´s door, a symbolic landmark created by human imagination, I find myself working on a book I never dreamt I´d write. Other literary, and dance, projects will have to wait, at least for a couple of weeks, because this one – uh, ah! – it´s grabbing me by the hair.
I sit on my desk and words flow, in a hurry (they know I´m on deadlines); urgent. My chest burns – every word comes out of it in flames. Insecurities come to the attack but I know them well. I dismiss them:
-Come on! You, again? Don´t you have anyone else to bug?
They don´t answer but I know what they´d say if they did:
-Everybody has their own tribe of insecurities. We cannot bug anyone else because we belong to you – we are YOU.
And this is what I want to tell myself, my students, my friends; you, who are reading, right now: embrace your demons instead of denying or trying to hush them away. Invite them in for a cup of tea; hug them so tighly they have no other choice but to hug you back.
In dance as in writing; in writing as in life, there are two, mostly unmentioned, qualities that allow you to thrive:
One is trust in yourself and your talent(s). It can come across as cockiness, especially if you´re a woman, and that´s why so many of us avoid developing it. It´ll annoy anyone who doesn´t believe in themselves; it´ll attract envy and competition and gossip and too many “ands”. Self-deprecation earns you more sympathy but it doesn´t get you far.
The other is persistence. If I want to be precise, I´ll call it stubbornness. In men, people call it passion; in women, they call it obsession. Either ways, focus, persist, discipline yourself not to give up on yourself. So hard, I know…(you CAN do it).
They may not look like much but they do the trick. Some of the most precious things in life are invisible so…pay attention…stay awakened…see.