My feeling ALL-THE-TIME.
If anyone wants to feel amused, shocked, in awe, hopeful, in absolute despair and mind blown, ask me to tell you a bit, a tiny bit, of my life. Then you´ll know what a great story is.
People only see the tip of the iceberg, not imagining what´s beneath – how many blessings, inner search trips, struggles, obstacles, hard work and doubts run through me.
They ask me: what are you complaining about when you have the life most people can only dream of?
I never had a single thing handed down to me. Never. Everything I am, and achieved, was conquered with hard work, sacrifices and sweat. And I´m not here begging for a free ride but...well…wait…I kind of…am. I´ve earned it, man!
If Louise Hay, and all other Positive Thinking visionaries, are correct, I´ve been attracting the struggle and the need for hard work in order to achieve what I´ve conquered. Maybe they´re right; maybe not (who knows?).
I´d like to believe that, once my beliefs change, my reality changes accordingly. The fact is I´m a positive person who expects the best from people and life, in general; I focus on myself, and my life, and I refuse to harm a flie. Or myself, for that matter.
I know, and believe (those are different things: knowing and believing), I´m worthy and deserving of the best, smoothest ride, and yet my life experience often disagrees.
Fair enough: I enjoy a good amount of extraordinary people, and experiences, on a daily basis but, then again, I earn that reality. If I put positivity, creativity and love out there, why shouldn´t I receive the same back? Isn´t life a boomerang – you receive what you put out there?
And why are there jerks – and I mean devilish JERKS – who harm others, lie, offend, destroy and have a fabulous life?
I´ve materialized most of my dreams and, if I died today, I´d die a happy person. That´s true – it´s not all bad and, I repeat, you won´t see me complaining any time soon. But the weight I (also) carry on my back won´t shut up. Creeps keep creeping in – don´t you love the sound of that triple C-K-C? – and no fruits fall from a tree I didn´t plant, water and worked on with my own, bleeding, exhausted hands. Which leaves me with the questions: where´s the reality that matches my positive thinking? If I´m doing my homework, sort of speak, correctly, where´s the reward?
Furthermore: can positive thinking avoid life´s darkest side?
Although I don´t play the victim and focus on the POSITIVE, dismissing the negative at all costs, the truth is life is constantly offering me a varied pallette of experiences, most of them quite challenging, many of them harsh enough to break the bones of any mentally healthy, strong human being. Independently of how much heart, and quality, I put into things, nothing comes easy. And I mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G. There are envy and hate patrols around me, enemies coming out of nowhere, unpleasant surprises and obstacles on every corner. I wonder why. And why not.
Is life supposed to be hard or simple?
Are we supposed to work hard for what we wish for or believe it will be handed to us without struggle?
Is the change of our beliefs enough to change our reality?
I wish I had the answers to those, and many others, questions. I don´t. Not yet. So I keep riding the waves, the best I can, and keep hoping for the best.
P.S: I´d just like to ask the screen writers to take it easy on the obstacles, the envy & haters patrols, and the disappointments. I´ve had my share, and then some, of those. Thank you.
*Food for Thought. Follow the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLMZZT73kgc