No complaints. Just facts. I´ve gone 1 time to the beach and no time to relax land. I´m always on – may that be wondering about my books, the ones I write on the rare moments of pause between dance work, may that be my new online school, my private online classes or the material I´m preparing for my upcoming world trips.
That Summer lunch – on my frontyard (I have land, flowers, trees and river surrounding my home), with neighbors and close friends – I´ve been planning since January hasn´t happened. My only dip in the river, right outside my door, took place while I was working, guiding my first MAGIC WOMB RETREAT in the heart of Portugal, Dornes, recently burnt to the ground.
No lavish dinners at sunset, no reading on the grass or by the pool; no salty, tanned skin; no naps by the shore; no partying throughout the night without a worry in the world. You see where this is going.
(I wonder if this is what they call “being an adult” or I´m just an extraordinarily busy person)
I´ve been working every day – with a rare, scheduled, rest day here and there – and none of it will slow down. It´ll get even busier with the restart of my work world trips. I take refuge, and gratitude, in the fact that I do what I love and people often throw that on my face when I comment I´m exhausted:
–Well...at least you do what you love…you travel the world through your work…you´re expanding constantly…you live off the stuff that give you pleasure.
I get it. For most people, I don´t have the right to say I´m tired because I´m a lucky gal who turns her dreams into reality. First: I´m not a gal; I´m a woman. Second: although there´s a fate factor in the equation (God has to agree with my Plans and intentional action), presuming I do what I do and I got where I am because I´m lucky is at least idiotic.
I don´t rely on my past achievements – you´re only as good as your last work.
I push myself every single day; I aim high, outside of the box, and keep my integrity untouched. I work my ass off and never, ever, settle for less than excellence. Plus: life hasn´t been particularly tender to me. It has given me the tools to fight but, hell!, it has thrown me into constant battle fields.
I could tell you a bunch of tragedies which I´ve turned into victories. Luck has very little to do with it.
Doing what you love doesn´t mean you don´t get exhausted, bored, disoriented, occasionally hopeless. Although people don´t publicly acknowledge it, there are sacrifices, hard work, low valleys and unpleasant tasks involved in the “dream making business”. You just gotta keep moving ahead, believing in yourself and in your contribution, making sure you remain human till the end.
My books, writing in process, have suffered enormously though other projects, like Joana Saahirah´s Online Dance School, have been growing on a daily basis. I´ve learnt how to compromise, accept time and energy limitations. Waiting. Understanding life´s timing and all that jazz.
I´ve been carrying around a yoga mat, 2 pcs, music & books (my essentials) for the last months; jumping from home to home (huge, tragic, fires around my official house); twisting myself into a pretzel, not allowing the exterior world to disorient me, taking me away from my True Path. A few disappointments with close (ex)friends & (ex)lovers – nothing new there – and a thirst for CHANGE I haven´t felt in a long while.
They tell us living our Purpose is what we should do. They don´t tell us how hard it is.
The work, the inner search, the discipline, the invisible tasks that turn ideas into accomplishments and dreams into reality. Who´s got the stamina, and the drive, for it?
I do and I believe you do too. Here´s a little (unglamorous yet realistic) inspiration for the road: