The distance between the way others see me and the way I see myself has always fascinated me and, often, shocked me. Projections – what others wish to find, what they´re lacking or imagine they´re lacking – explain a part of the misunderstandings but there´s more. Much more.
How do I see myself? (How do you see yourself?)
First, alive. I´m a person who is ALIVE (so many of us walk through life as zombies, not fully alive and yet not fully dead). For me, this is my best quality and what defines me the most at my own eyes. The rest follows this basic characteristic.
Second, I´m happy. Happiness as a choice, an inner quality that allows me to be chronically joyful, independently of external circumstances.
Third, I´m highly – even compulsively – creative. My creative fountain never stops running towards the most amazing venues. From building a choreography to writing a book; from teaching a workshop to performing in a theatre; from cooking a delicious meal to plotting a new work project, making a fancy, out of the box photo session or picking up a gift for a beloved friend; from designing, and planting, the garden at my new home to painting. The list of my creative activities, and the joy they bring, is endless.
Fourth, passionate. No fire, no game. Let´s play, baby!
Seventh, innocent (do NOT confuse with stupid).
Eigth, perseverant. I like to get the (im) possible done. And I do.
None of these characteristics are common in the mouth of people who surround me. People see me in completely different ways and value things I don´t even recognize in myself.
I have fun with it.
Who I am in this dance of mirrors? What others see in me and what I see in them.
It raises the question: who´s right – me or them? Can we ever see each other, for real, or the maximum we can do is to project and go from illusion to illusion without touching each other´s cores?
I´d like to think someone, one day, will see me for who I am. Just one person. One day.
That´ll be enough.