My life has been pretty amazing. Bumps in the road? Sure. But I´m stubborn -I refuse not to dance through those bumps. Playing the victim may gather popular attention but it´s not my style.
I´ve materialized all my dreams, so far (more on the way): I´ve started building a successful, and uncompromising, career in Egypt under circumstances everybody claimed were impossible to surpass; I´ve travelled the whole world teaching, performing, lecturing and living; I´ve published my first book in a language which is not my own; I´ve loved and been loved by men who made me feel more alive than life itself; made and lost friends (the last weren´t probably real to start with so nothing was lost, only revealed); enjoyed things most people perceive as “lucky strikes”, knowing luck is a construction, something we work for.
The best is yet to come. And the best, as we grow up, turns into apparently simple stuff. Here are some of the things that make me feel happy, accomplished and – deeply – successful:
1. Being healthy, strong and a fountain of endless creativity.
2. Play dates with my niece. We bake cakes together, dance in private discos created in dark bathrooms (only a flashlight follows us), make dolls, houses and trees with plasticine, pick up fruits in the forest, sing together, have intimate talks about life, boys and dreams, watch “Shrek” for the 30th time.
3.Cooking for friends and receiving them at home for lavish meals bathed in laughter.
4.Running in the rain and, once I´m back home, having a hot bath with salts, aromatic oils and candles (to set the mood).
5. Loving and being loved by the people who really* know me and share intimacy with me.
6. Sitting by the fire with a good book on my hands.
7. Making love to the man of my choice – no benefits or conveniences attached.
I love to love; I love to desire; I love the eccentricity of relating to people because I want to, not because I need. Personal relationships are NOT business deals. Not for me, at least.
8. The time, and ability, to DREAM. Slices of life where I can sit with a cup of coffee, breathe and just be. No pressure to do, dance, say or write something meaningful. A space to DREAM, plot, brood over the things that make my heart sing.
The list goes on. And on.
Growing up is a full time (delightful) job. It´s not always easy but the other option – being dead – is less appealing.
Appreciate what you have, when you have it; wherever it is. Performing at a fully packed theatre, in Paris or New York, is not necessarily better – or more prone to bring you fulfilment – than having dinner with the ones you love.
Believe me, I´ve been there; I know what I´m talking about.