We were walking down the road, me and my dear friend, heading for our morning coffee. A car passed us by and honked insistently:
–What a jerk! Don´t mind him. I´m so tired of these sickos. – She said, disgusted by the harassment.
-Oh, why? That gentleman was just being nice – he was saying hi to us.
-Right, Joana; right. – She smiled at me, condescendently, unsure if I was talking seriously or joking. With me, you never know which one is the case.
-I mean it. His honking was a way of wishing us a good day. Well, at least that´s the illusion I choose to embrace. I wave back at him, smile, make myself stupid and embrace his positive vibes. They, too, will add joy to my day.
At some point in our lives, we realize not knowing can be a blessing.
Knowledge has always been praised, cherished and desired. Ignorance has been shamed, at best – it´s the ugly, neglected, despised sister.
The more I know, the more I appreciate not knowing. It can be a super power, believe me. It can save us from cynicism, hoplessness, even death. Physical, as much as spiritual, death.
There are things I don´t understand and I hope I never will. The day I wrap my head around them it´s the day I crash the mirror where I see myself, every morning. In those things I am – thankfully – ignorant, analphabet. Envy, backstabbing, lack of loyalty towards the ones we presumably love, the incoherence of thinking one thing and saying another or feeling one thing and doing its opposite.
I ´m ignorant where mediocrity is concerned. I couldn´t fathom the concept of harming others in order to benefit myself if my life depended on it. Because of it, I´ve been called stupid, naif, a lunatic without the necessary skills to survive in the real world.
My mum agrees – she says I´m out of this world, always on the moon, somewhere – in a far away land – where nothing and no one can touch me unless I choose so. She´s right.
What people call “real life” is unbearable to me – the hipocrisy, the finances, the status, the sheeps, the mental clutter, the lies and the business arrangements where human arrangements should be held. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Take me out of that movie.
I experience the world through the filter of my own world, a world where ignorance, as much as knowledge, is not only praised but sacred.
Don´t let me know, or understand, ugliness. I don´t want to. I wish to remain clueless in everything that doesn´t add beauty to my life.