I often phantasize about winning the lotery. Ok, not often but enough times to think about what I would – will? – do if – when? – that happens.
I wouldn´t buy jewels, cars, trips, houses or expensive cloths; wouldn´t buy objects or illusions of any sort. I´d buy time.
Time to breathe, see – Seeing for Real. Time to rest at the bottom of a hill and sing without restraint. Time to taste, feel, listen, live. Time to sit with a stranger, or a friend, in a cosy coffee shop, chatting without a worry or the need to speed somewhere else.
Time to undress the man of my choice, getting to know his skin, make love with him and remain happy without thinking about the moment I´ll have to wake up from the dream, dress up and rush out the door.
Time to stop at a random page, while reading a book, and remain there, staring at it – looking like a maniac, a happy one -, caressing the page, without stressing about all the books on my reading list.
Time to dance for myself – not for work, not for others -, as I used to do when I was a baby, learning how to walk.
Time not to think about time. Or the lack of it.
I´d offer myself the luxury of empty time portions that could be filled with pleasures such as staring at a tree or walking – not running – in the forest. I´d invest in slices of days, and nights, just to BE. Still. Not wanting more – dropping every ambition. Just being for as long as I wished.
As I look around, and inside, I see how hysterical – insane: insane: insane – we´re becoming. As a society, as human beings.
We´re poor – we can´t afford the time to be humans. Economy and politicians tell us so and we believe them. They tell us we have to be faster than machines, in order to compete with them, so we become extensions of machines. Half (sleeping) human, half android.
You know what they say: If you can´t the enemy, join him.
NO – TIME (or permission) – TO – BE- HUMAN.
This is worrying me.
“Nobody sees a flower – really – it is so small it takes time – we haven’t time – and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.” – Georgia O’Keeffe