Ok. Getting real is never easy. Neither is growing. But I guess it´s good, right? The possibility of making things happen and, after a while, looking back and realizing how much better we could makethose things now, right now, when we know better.
The thing is we couldn´t have done it better now. Could have + now don´t match. They belong to different segments of our linear time.
Had we not dared to jump on something and do it – flaws and all that jazz -, the moment would be gone. Which brings me to another fact: we learn by doing; we evolve by doing; mistakes are learning tools. We grow by experiencing and integrating that experience the best we can, at a given time and space.
Better done than perfect, someone said. I have to agree. I have to.
As I follow through with the revision for the 2nd edition of my first published book – “The Secrets of Egypt – Dance, Life & Beyond” -, I realize a few interesting things:
1. How important it is to make things happen. Even if those things come out flawed, nervous and immature.
2. I had no idea a book could handle so many of these: ( ), ?!, all and love. Outch! Not removing them. No, sir. I could but I won´t. There´s a certain naiveté to this exaggerated, even erroneous grammatical punctuation; a certain flair to the word repetitions: all, love, all, love, all, love, all, love. Such madness. And spontaneity. And guts. And I like it. Please don´t touch it; don´t mess with that.
I´m just revising the book, not rewriting it, so I have to swallow a few frogs. And that´s cool. Not pleasant but cool.
3. Writing, as dancing, is a magical process. You don´t know where the goodies come from. Well, the official version is that they come from you. But, while re-reading my book, I realize I don´t know who wrote a lot of those things. It seems to have been me but a part of me I have no total control of.
Fragile. Everything´s so fragile. In other words, human.
Dealing with the fact that vacations are not on my agenda, at least until the beginning of 2016 – also fine. Kind of. Not pleasant. But fine. Having a busy agenda filled with work and professional trips around the world is not what I would call a reason to whine or complain. So, despite the exhaustion, I say “let´s do it”. There´s this baby to revise and the other one, the new book, to write. 1st volume is done – yeah! Only the rest is due – 2 or 3 more volumes. Only that. And my dance work – on line classes, festivals, new choreographies, shows and trips. Great!