In a world on the verge of a major transformation, it´s urgent to ask – once more and always – if we know what we´re talking about (and celebrating) when we talk about LOVE.
Marriage as an institution that proclaims to the public you´re fitting the mold? CHECK.
Relationship status on the Facebook updated to scary detail? CHECK.
Love & true intimacy? Not so sure.
The need to belong to a group – even a blind group – seems to be greater than the need for integrity and truth. Love that limits, cuts your wings and makes you feel less than human is not love; love that controls, humiliates or treats the other as their property is not love; love that is a comfortable institution where each one serves the other as employees do at a dinner´s counter is not love; love that doesn´t expand our soul and dreams is not love.
As the entire world trashes “50 Shades of Grey” – the movie – I will go against the current, as usual, and say I actually liked the movie because, as far as I could see, it was not about sex, sado masochism, women´s rights or any of that bullshit: it was about love and intimacy or the fear most of us have of both. No idea if that focus is in the book that originated the movie – ´haven´t read the book and have no intention of doing so – but it´s certainly in the movie (or in my head): how sex, domination, control and illusions of power can so often hope to replace love and true intimacy.
Letting the other enter our inner world – not only our body but our mind, heart and soul. That´s love, the one that can elevate us but destroy us as well.
Allowing the other to know who we really are – away from public images, built characters or protective masks. That´s love.
Who I am to comdemn the illusion of love? I carry my own illusions and hold on to them for dear life.We´re all human and, therefore, in need of some sort of illusion.
I just wished we – me included – could be braver: enjoy the easy stuff (words, sex, Valentine cards, lashes and handcuffs) but also dare to go deeper and, eventually, discover the meaning of the word Love and what´s beyond it.
Happy Valentine, everyone!