Russian Topless Queen*


I suppose no one likes to look ridiculous. Now imagine you´re a performer and you lose your bra, skirt or step on stage, in front of hundreds of people (maybe thousands) who paid a ticket to watch you perform (or screw up, depending on the angle you choose). Have you imagined it? Pretty cool, isn´t it? Perfect strangers are watching your noble “derrière” – kindly magnified by the stage – or observing, in a mix of shock and delight, your breasts…ah, that may well quality as a divine experience.

It happened to me countless times: my poor Egyptian musicians were on the verge of strokes with daily & deadly frequency: every once in a while, my bra would decide to  fly away or my skirt would unbutton itself without my consent. My last work trip to Russia was not an exception in my beloved collection of stage disasters:

I saw it coming – click, clack, track (three dry naughty childish sounds announcing the disaster). It´s gonna open…I know it…I know it…I knoooooooowwwwww…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Damn it: let´s celebrate!

(Adaptation, dear folks – it´s all an adaptation matter. A poker face will also come in handy)

It opened: my bra, in Russia, on a perfect, great stage with a large history of respectable, high level classical ballet performances. What could I do except what I´ve always done: GO WITH THE FLOW and PLAY with the situation? If you look at the small picture, it´s a bloody disaster. If you look at the big picture, it´s nothing – just a tiny detail, one more imperfect moment we can turn into perfection.

As I descended to the floor for a quick “zaar” moment, my bra opened up completely, forcing me to grab my breasts and dance the rest of the music with half body and a laughter attack I could hardly disguise (why would I?). Not in the “Swan Lake” dance cathegory – no. Nonetheless, it was great in its own original way.

The more serious I get in my profession, the more I allow myself to play. The more I learn about the stage and life, the more I see how the BIG PLAYGROUND. I´ve been learning to dance with life´s ironies, traps and surprises. They´re there for a reason – think about it. I don´t believe they´re supposed to hurt us, our reputation or mood. I believe life is generous: it offers us endless opportunities to PLAY, to LAUGH, to take each moment as it is without wanting to control it and shape it according to our own limited ideas of perfection.

You know what? I´ve fallen on stage (as in life 😉 ) several times and I´ve made a show out of every single fall. I´ve lost bras, skirts, shame, illusions, lovers, enemies and friends, shoes, composure…you name it. And that´s all right because living is about accepting and flowing with gain and loss, hello and goodbye, the beginning and the end.

(Im)perfect moments can be just what we need to shine – I know it from direct experience and I believe you know it too. You just have to forget, for a second or two, that you´re a boring adult. We´re kids and life´s a playground – celebrate it, come rain or come shine.

I toast to that – all that and more.  10537169_10152268843993716_429839643693946501_n

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