I´m stubborn as hell; I´m also a reticent “La La Land” survivor – meaning: I insist on denying there is evil people in the world, against all odds and despite evidence in contrary. It took me a long time to recognize there are people who are so sad they have nothing to offer but poison. It also took me a (long) while to admit: not everyone who gets close to you has the best intentions in the world. Some creatures will get out of their way in order to hurt you (even now…even writing it sounds absurd…).
I´m no saint – no sir. I´m also not a jerk so the idea of harming someone for fun (or revenge) or pretending to like/love someone in order to take advantage out of them is as attactive to me as eating a drunk´s puke for breakfast.
Little by little, darkness becomes a fact: a tough, fat, hard pill I have to swallow. It´s painful but it´s also an essential part of growth, I guess…
2015 crashed my stubbornness a little further (thanks – I´m deeply touched): ex-boyfriends returned to the attack and were sent back where they belong (the past); several fake friends were revealed and let behind. More than the sadness of losing people I actually loved, what shocks me the most is the question: why would someone pretend to befriend another person while hating her/him with all their might? Why would you spend your time and energy with someone (acting as if you were a friend) when everything you ever wanted was to self-flagellate with envy and hurt that person at the first opportunity?
Believe it or not, I always thought people befriended each other because they genuinely liked and cared about each other. The possibility of wasting my time and energy with someone I don´t like has never crossed my mind. Time is short for the people and things I love, for God´s sake! Why would I spend this precious, limited time on someone I dislike?
The answer is probably more depressing than the question: I discovered, dearest 2015, there are people who feed themselves off other people´s lives, adventures, victories and personal stories. They want a piece of what you´ve got and search for tips on HOW TO GET IT; they live LIFE through YOUR interesting life and they couldn´t care less if you lived or died, as long as they could watch it from their sour balcony. They´re 21st century vampires who look normal, act – relatively – normal and pass by us unnoticed, even offering the appearance of angels. Ah.
Hard lessons learnt.
Grabbing myself to the most precious gift a human being can have: INOCCENCE and FAITH in LOVE*
2014 was the official year of personal relationships cleaning: fake lovers and fake friends thrown in the garbage.
I hope 2015 brings new, higher quality people who say “I LOVE YOU” and actually mean it. Am I the only one who still believes in that outdated, out of fashion thing called HUMANITY?!