“There´s this beauty in the idea of being in repair.”
I´m listening to John Mayer a lot these days; I´m also lightening candles for inspiration, protection, hope and all sorts of things I´m not aware of. Angels stand by me while I´m dancing, writing, teaching, choreographing, dreaming – that makes the whole path brighter.
The theme of “being in repair” is familiar to me – probably too familiar. It seems I´m permanently in repair, recovering from some damage. Living freely and not leaving anything out of my experience realm and understanding has a price. Freedom has a price but there´s no point on refusing to live or living in a jail. I rather die in my blood than living on dry land.
I have no idea if the same applies to you because you´re not my home – I AM MY HOME and these rooms are the only ones I know.
This house of mine is in repair, remodelling, redecorating, with freshly painted walls smelling of new beginnings, replaced windows and (still: ah, the wounds!) closed doors. I hope to open for (life) business soon. It´s been a while since I´ve started working inside and repairing what was damaged, way more damaged than I dared to feel. Remember: pain always catches up with us – always (you can run but you can´t hide, darling!). We may pretend it´s not there, move forward, get busy and interested in the world, fly high in the sky and beyond our galaxy but the rock ends up falling on our heads until we admit its existence and decide to deal with it (perhaps digesting it, finally! Perhaps turning it into Understanding, Forgiveness, Compassion: Love).
Accepting the depth of the wound and not running away from it is a great step and here we are (I am) – not only facing the closed home but also reparing it from the inside out and discovering beauty in it: in darkness: in those scary rooms of the house we never want to revisit.
Courage, my friends, LIVING takes courage!