I envy those guys: the half-ass troupe.
They don´t feel too much or think too much or love too much or even breathe too much – just the minimum to keep them with their heads above the water. Key words: or & whatever.They don´t even live too much in order to spare some nerves, skin tissue, brain cells and years of under-life (or surviving). Key word, yet again: or (with a light shoulder shrug).
I call them the “Paralytic Mummy Troupe“: how I wish I was one of them – life would be so much easier (and shallower which, by now, I´m not sure would constitute a problem or a privilege).
Then come The Others (like me). We feel, think, breathe, love (and ignore, if that´s the case) and live too much, too totally (if there´s such a thing as “too totally”). I´ve lived, felt, thought and done in my short life what most creatures haven´t by the time they die in their 80´s.
And yes: I´m tired; no: I´m exhausted. BEING FULLY ASSED ALIVE is exhausting and there are no medals or other visible compensations for it. All or nothing at all: full ass, full me: fuel of my life: FULL, overloaded, overboarded, overEVERYTHING and outPOURING flowers, blood, tears, sweat, smiles and joys. Too much: too fast: too hot: yeah!: burning: alive.
It´s not a choice, see? You are born this way (damn it!): big ass, full ass, kicking ass (and proud of it).