We´re at Sartbucks, right? Warm light, the whole space covered in wood and scented with cinnamon, cardamom and coffee beans (Starbucks company knows that it´s doing when it comes to making you feel good), soulful music just at the right volume (not too much, not too little) and a time to enjoy, to do nothing but exchange ideas, experiences and life with a friend whose company makes me believe there are (still) sane, beautiful and brave people in this mad world of ours.
One of my (innocent?) addictions: a good cup of coffe (cream on top, if you please) and a good conversation with a good friend. All good until I realized I was there but not there (do you know what I mean?): as a usual spectator of myself (the habit of putting myself in and out of the situations as if I was the actress and the spectator of my own theatre play or life, if you prefer), I was shocked to recognize I´m constantly projecting my existence in the future – I´m never quite IN THE MOMENT, except when I´m performing, writing or teaching. On those occasions I have no option but to BE (in the moment) – everything else seems to be a preparation for a future that never arrives and that´s particularly true where it comes to my creative work: the NEXT BIG THING seems to be more relevant, delicious, exciting than the BIG THING I am doing now. My energy is never 100% directed at what I´m creating at the moment – this realization scared the hell out of me – literally.
“You teach what you need to learn” – somebody said (and well!).
Thanks to Sara, my partner in this Starbucks´ cosy nook, for reminding me that LIFE is now and that, no matter how compulsively creative we may be (thank you, God; WHY, oh why, GOD?!), we should be wise enough to enjoy, taste and delight in our berries when we have them on our hands. Celebrating victories, accomplishments and amazing things I´ve already done has never been my forte (I´m always looking at what I haven´t done yet) but things are about to change. Life´s too short for this ghost chasing and enough is enough – more than enough, actually.